• Faith,  Grief,  Infertility,  Miscarriage

    Grief and Hope

    With our second baby’s should-have-been-due date coming up, I’ve been having more emotional meltdowns lately. Most of the time I can be positive and hopeful, but a lot of the time I still feel anger and bitterness. That’s how grieving has been for me. Even I have a hard time accepting the reality of these conflicting emotions, so it shouldn’t surprise me that many others don’t understand it either. It’s exhausting trying to open up on the hard days. While there are some great people in my life who know how to truly listen, there are just as many who do not. Some ask how I’m doing, but can’t handle…

  • Fertility Products and Resources

    Ovulation Double Check by MFB Fertility

    I won an awesome giveaway from MFB Fertility during National Infertility Awareness Week, and I wanted to share a bit about the amazing, revolutionary product I received! This post is not sponsored. If you have PCOS, then you might know that traditional ovulation tests (OPKs) aren’t always reliable. I’ve not used OPKs in years, but when I did, they never worked for me. This is because women with PCOS often have high LH (the hormone that is measured by an OPK), without ovulation actually happening. This can be very confusing and frustrating when you’re TTC, especially if you have long cycles. That’s why I’m so glad that there’s a product…

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  • Life Updates,  Miscarriage,  Pregnancy

    Our Baby Had A Heartbeat

    This has been the hardest week of my life. And I know it’s not going to get easier anytime soon. We had so much hope. We never thought we’d experience a third loss in a row. On December 18th, we had our first ultrasound. I was so nervous, and we were in the waiting room for over an hour. When we were finally called back, the ultrasound technician was so happy and positive. She was with us during our last loss, and it was obvious how excited for us she was. As the ultrasound began, I held my breath…but quickly exhaled when I saw a big black spot–the gestational sac!…

  • Infertility

    Infertility Is Not Your Fault

    In one of my last posts, I wrote about letting go of the guilt that surrounds infertility. This post is somewhat along the same lines. This week I had an ovarian cyst rupture. It was ridiculously painful, and my poor husband was terrified. It had been nine years since that had last happened, so I forgot how bad it could be. After I realized what was happening, I managed the pain as I’ve learned to do, and made an appointment to be sure everything was okay. By the time I went in for my ultrasound the next day, the pain had greatly subsided. The ultrasound tech confirmed what had happened…