• Faith,  Grief,  Infertility,  Miscarriage

    Grief and Hope

    With our second baby’s should-have-been-due date coming up, I’ve been having more emotional meltdowns lately. Most of the time I can be positive and hopeful, but a lot of the time I still feel anger and bitterness. That’s how grieving has been for me. Even I have a hard time accepting the reality of these conflicting emotions, so it shouldn’t surprise me that many others don’t understand it either. It’s exhausting trying to open up on the hard days. While there are some great people in my life who know how to truly listen, there are just as many who do not. Some ask how I’m doing, but can’t handle…

  • Fertility Products and Resources

    Ovulation Double Check by MFB Fertility

    I won an awesome giveaway from MFB Fertility during National Infertility Awareness Week, and I wanted to share a bit about the amazing, revolutionary product I received! This post is not sponsored. If you have PCOS, then you might know that traditional ovulation tests (OPKs) aren’t always reliable. I’ve not used OPKs in years, but when I did, they never worked for me. This is because women with PCOS often have high LH (the hormone that is measured by an OPK), without ovulation actually happening. This can be very confusing and frustrating when you’re TTC, especially if you have long cycles. That’s why I’m so glad that there’s a product…

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  • Infertility,  Life Updates,  Miscarriage

    On Taking A Break

    It sucks. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been nice to not worry about tracking my cycle or symptom spotting. But more than anything, I want to be pregnant again. Or maybe it’s that I wish I was still pregnant. Because I know that if I were to see those two lines again now, I would be so happy. I might even be able to celebrate. But then there’s the waiting. Waiting for the blood work results. And the next blood work results… And if everything is good with that, then there’s more waiting. Waiting for the first ultrasound. Holding my breath while they take measurements and look for a heartbeat……

  • Life Updates,  Miscarriage,  Pregnancy

    Our Baby Had A Heartbeat

    This has been the hardest week of my life. And I know it’s not going to get easier anytime soon. We had so much hope. We never thought we’d experience a third loss in a row. On December 18th, we had our first ultrasound. I was so nervous, and we were in the waiting room for over an hour. When we were finally called back, the ultrasound technician was so happy and positive. She was with us during our last loss, and it was obvious how excited for us she was. As the ultrasound began, I held my breath…but quickly exhaled when I saw a big black spot–the gestational sac!…

  • Life Updates,  Pregnancy

    Pregnancy Update: Weeks 5-6

    I’ve been finishing up the semester of school and working my way through finals, so it’s been awhile since I’ve updated. I just turned into my 7th week yesterday, so I figured that now would be a good time to talk symptoms and other things before I forget. I’ll try to continue these updates weekly if I can, but for this post it’ll mostly just be catching up. So, where did I leave off? In my last post I shared about my confirmation appointment and my blood work results. Since then, nothing new has really happened, and I’ve just been counting down the days until the ultrasound. It’s really gone…

  • Life Updates,  Pregnancy

    Pregnant Again.

    There are so many couples who go years without ever seeing those two lines. There are so many couple who go years without answers. So many years of trial and error. Years of one failed treatment after another. We who have walked these roads have such an amazing community. There have been many cycles where the lovely people I met through the infertility community have kept me sane and encouraged me. But what happens when one of us finally cross over to the other side? When we finally get our miracle? For the most part, the infertility community is very supportive of those who are able to beat infertility. But…

  • Whole30

    5 Whole30 Regrets

    Hindsight is 20/20, isn’t that what they say? Since doing Whole30 in September (and struggling to start my second round), I’ve realized a few things that I wish I had done differently. So here they are. Meal Prep You know what the worst part of Whole30 was (besides the first week)? All of the cooking and cleaning. It was so much more time consuming than I realized it would be. It’s the middle of November, and I feel like I’m still catching up on dishes! (kidding) But last night I made a whole bunch of cracklin chicken, only for my husband to bring home some dinner. I woke up this…