Life Updates

  • Life Updates

    Birth Story

    It’s Vincent’s first birthday, so I figured it was time to share his birth story. I’m still amazed at the timing of it all. The experience was very full-circle and restorative for me. January 9th. Oh, that date had had many painful emotions associated with it. It was the day we physically lost our third baby. We had found out nearly three weeks prior that the heartbeat had stopped, and on January 9th, 2018, the miscarriage ended with an unexpected surgery. (You can read that story in my D&C posts). So, to say it was surreal to walk into the same hospital on the exact same day two years later…

  • Life Updates

    A year later.

    Well, more than a year later. I’ve neglected this blog for a long time, and in that time so much has changed. I didn’t know it at the time, but the day of my last entry was the day my fifth pregnancy began. Thankfully, that pregnancy was sustained and I gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby boy on January 11th! Now that I’m settling in to life with a living baby, I’m finally ready to start documenting again. The entire pregnancy was a terrifying blur, as were the first couple months postpartum. I couldn’t bring myself to share much more than the bare minimum. It seemed like everything within…

  • Infertility,  Life Updates,  Miscarriage

    On Taking A Break

    It sucks. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been nice to not worry about tracking my cycle or symptom spotting. But more than anything, I want to be pregnant again. Or maybe it’s that I wish I was still pregnant. Because I know that if I were to see those two lines again now, I would be so happy. I might even be able to celebrate. But then there’s the waiting. Waiting for the blood work results. And the next blood work results… And if everything is good with that, then there’s more waiting. Waiting for the first ultrasound. Holding my breath while they take measurements and look for a heartbeat……

  • Infertility,  Life Updates,  Miscarriage

    Moving Forward

    After years of not being able to ovulate, let alone get pregnant, 2017 was a year of solutions and answers (among other things). It was the year that I discovered the keys to balancing my hormones–Whole30 and Ovasitol. It was the year that we celebrated and lost three pregnancies. In a way, we had a lot of progress. Physically, I would feel better continuing to TTC right away. We’ve come so far–I don’t want to quit even for a few months. Emotionally, though, I know I couldn’t handle being pregnant again right now. 2017 was also the year I decided to go back to school. I got rid of my…

  • Life Updates,  Miscarriage,  Pregnancy

    My D&C Part 4: After

    This is the final part of my D&C story. To read the previous parts, follow the links below: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Once home, we grabbed the mail. One of the items was a baby registry magazine from Target (don’t you love irony?) I tossed it onto the kitchen table, with the intentions of burning it later. I also had a package waiting on me–a beautiful picture frame to keep our ultrasound photos in. I opened it, and read the words “Planted on Earth to Bloom in Heaven”. That was the first time I cried, realizing that our baby was gone and I was empty. Then we both…

  • Life Updates,  Miscarriage,  Pregnancy

    My D&C Part 3: The Surgery

    This is Part 3 of my D&C story. You can read Part 1 here, and Part 2 here. Once the consent forms were signed, everything went by so quickly. I was moved into a different part of the hospital where they began to prepare me for the surgery. They put in an IV, and hooked me up to some monitors. I honestly don’t even know everything that they were doing. Several people came around asking me questions about allergies, my blood type, etc., and explaining the different things that were going to happen. Two different anesthesiologists gave me the rundown on what they would be doing. My husband was able…

  • Life Updates,  Miscarriage,  Pregnancy

    My D&C Part 2: In The ER

    This is Part 2 of my D&C story. To read Part 1, click here. The nurse tried three times to get a reading on my blood pressure. It was low. My husband had to relay most of the information to the nurses for me–I could only speak in the moments between cramps. I had my eyes closed most of the time…still keeping the cold washcloth over my forehead. I had no more nausea, but the dizziness was taking over. After a few minutes in triage, they moved me to a room. As I changed into a gown, I realized that I wasn’t wearing a bra. I laid in the bed,…

  • Life Updates,  Miscarriage,  Pregnancy

    My D&C Part 1: Before

    This is Part 1 of my D&C story. Parts 2-4 will be published in the following days. This week started out on a wild note, to put it mildly. Monday I had an appointment with my doctor. It was over two weeks since we’d found out our baby no longer had a heartbeat, and I still hadn’t really started the physical miscarriage process yet. I’d had some mild bleeding and cramps off and on for about a week, but nothing else. Actually, let’s back it up to a few days before my appointment. My doctor called me with my second blood work results. The day we learned of our baby’s…

  • Life Updates,  Miscarriage,  Pregnancy

    Our Baby Had A Heartbeat

    This has been the hardest week of my life. And I know it’s not going to get easier anytime soon. We had so much hope. We never thought we’d experience a third loss in a row. On December 18th, we had our first ultrasound. I was so nervous, and we were in the waiting room for over an hour. When we were finally called back, the ultrasound technician was so happy and positive. She was with us during our last loss, and it was obvious how excited for us she was. As the ultrasound began, I held my breath…but quickly exhaled when I saw a big black spot–the gestational sac!…

  • Life Updates,  Pregnancy

    Pregnancy Update: Weeks 5-6

    I’ve been finishing up the semester of school and working my way through finals, so it’s been awhile since I’ve updated. I just turned into my 7th week yesterday, so I figured that now would be a good time to talk symptoms and other things before I forget. I’ll try to continue these updates weekly if I can, but for this post it’ll mostly just be catching up. So, where did I leave off? In my last post I shared about my confirmation appointment and my blood work results. Since then, nothing new has really happened, and I’ve just been counting down the days until the ultrasound. It’s really gone…